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When Fear Finds Its Way In, This Happens

So, it's been awhile since I've posted a new blog. Life has caught up to me, as it always does and I have fallen behind on everything that I think, as I'm falling asleep each night, I will accomplish the following day (like posting a new blog). But, don't worry, friends, I still have lots to ramble on about!
     I had a conversation with a friend today about the things he has struggled with being a parent, primarily finances. I admitted to him that I am terrified to leave the financial safety of living with others to strike out on my own and be solely responsible for putting a roof over my child's head and food on the table for us. Before motherhood, I didn't care if the deposit for an apartment took my last dollar and left me on a strict diet of bread and water for a month. I wanted independence and I was going to get it at any cost. However, things like evictions or car breakdowns or job layoffs only affected me and that didn't scare me. However, as…

Live Simply, Love Deeply, and Reach Your Goals

I was asked recently what my major plans in life were. My go-to response, of course, was to build my savings, finish my degree, buy a house, make enough money to provide my child with every opportunity. These are all good, respectable things but, as I sat pondering later that day (as I usually do), I realized that these were goals I had for myself and there were so much more I wanted out of life. My primary focus, and what motivates my every decision, since my daughter was born has become what kind of person am I; what kind of role model is she going to be looking to for the rest of her life? With that in mind, I have had to refocus, rethink and reprioritize. I figured out that there were three things I wanted that were fundamental to the kind of person I am and the kind of life I want to build for both myself and my daughter: live simply, love deeply and reach my goals.


LIVE SIMPLY:

I have always been an over-thinker, an over-worrier, with thoughts that were so complicated that I had a…

Being a Better Me

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I have talked a little in my previous blogs about my disregard for long term consequences before I became a mom. I cannot emphasize enough how deeply that disregard ran and I am amazed each day as I wake up a mom at how much I have changed. It is really true that a child changes everything. The moment I found out I was pregnant it was kind of like my life flashed before my eyes. Every selfish moment I had where I did things because I wanted to, consequences be damned, came flooding to my mind followed, of course, by the shitty consequences I had to deal with. I knew in that moment, before I even left the hospital, that I had to leave behind the person who didn’t care what she suffered as long as she got what she wanted when she wanted it.
This started a long journey of facing the reality of the kind of woman that I had been up to this point in my life. I had to look into the mirror (metaphorically speaking and I avoided that metaphorical mirror at all costs) and own up to the fact tha…

Moms of Value

Life before kids isn’t always thought out in a manner that gives regards to what will need to happen once
children arrive. Having thought that I would never had a child, I spent my time as a motherless woman
giving no thought to how my choices could affect my future or the future of my child. I live sometimes
recklessly and at other times ignorant. So long as I could survive from day to day I didn’t place value in
the correct things, like education and career. As I reached my thirties, this began to change. I still didn’t plan on having a child but I wanted a little more
cash in my pocket and a nice framed little piece of paper on my wall that said that I had accomplished
something. Unfortunately, by the time I pulled my head out of my ass I was too late to take back the ill
made choices of my past or to avoid having to pay the consequences for them. I enrolled in school and have been working on my degree for way too many years. However, despite my
endless list of qualifications, I cou…