A Mom Around 40

 Sometimes I love the freedom of being an adult. I can stay up as late as I want, say as many cuss words as I want and eat candy for breakfast if I want. I like the freedom to set my own pace and make my own choices. HOWEVER, there are a lot of things about adulthood that no one EVER warned me about when I was young and dreaming of the day when I would be out from under the oppressing rules of childhood, like eat your vegetables and get eight hours of sleep (how dare something so ludicrous be asked of me)! In middle school and high school when you have friends they are, like, totally your BFFs forever and ever and ever. I mean, you sign it at the bottom of every, single note that you pass in the hallway so it has to be true, right? Your first boyfriend is your one true love and you dream of moving far away from your parents, collecting Beanie Babies and living happily ever after. But the slow reality of it is this: as you grow up, relationships find space. One day your bestie for, like

 Man! Quarantine is no joke, yall! All this time at home has left me with lots of time to discover lots of things. For instance, my love of yoga pants. I always told my sister-in-law I didn't get the appeal. If it wasn't pajama pants or jeans, it wasn't for me. Then I put on the good 'ol COVID 20 ... or maybe, just maybe, the COVID 30. Enter yoga pants to save the day and now I am team yoga-pants and I will never go back! But, in addition to my plain jane wardrobe choices, quarantine has left me a lot of time to question, ponder and process things - like, all the things. I have faced the question of what happens to Lola if anything should ever happen to me. I mean, it's no secret her biological father bailed long before she was born. And when COVID really, truly started rearing it's ugly head, I became truly fearful of who would raise my child should I ever not be around. Then, I faced the even UGLIER scenario of what I would do if any of this ugliness in the wo